Dead Jester Productions Podcast

Episode 105 - Custom Zombie Maps, Ready or Not, and Collecting Cards

Our heroes follow the road leading to the Lord's keep. They are happy to be out of the cold mountain top, and the dark cavern that lay below. As they reveled in the nicer weather, some clouds slowly passed overhead. At first they thought nothing of it. Then a few more passed by, and then another few. Eventually, the sun was completely covered by clouds, and snow began to fall.
The heroes quickly got off the road and set up camp. As they put their campsite together, the large, heavy snowflakes fell upon them. Within minutes, they were already coated in the cold precipitation. Quickly enough their tents were assembled, and they took shelter. While warming up next to the fire they talked.
They discussed the new World at War custom zombies maps they had played, the new update to Ready or Not, and one of the heroes' newfound interest in collecting baseball cards.

Episode 104 - PC Gaming, The Forest, Dying Light 2

The heroes wake up in their rooms, but realize it hasn't been long enough to visit the healer. They instead decide they should ask around for the local leader in order to get a reward for slaying the ancient beholder. After asking a few people, they find that they should visit the next town over and speak to the lord that lived there.
They stop by the healer to let her know of their intentions, and she assures them that she will keep an eye on the woman until they return. Knowing this, they set off. 
The lord's keep was only a short distance away, but they resupplied in the village before leaving. Satisfied with their equipment, they left the village. As they walked out of town, they discussed their new experiences with PC gaming, the game The Forest, and new info regarding Dying Light 2.

Episode 103 - New Year’s, New Gaming PC, and The Wheel of Time

The heroes cleaned up their campsite, and salvaged whatever remains they could from the dead beholder. They made their way down the mountainside, which was now littered with crumbled rocks and debris. A sinkhole had formed where the cavern inside the mountain had collapsed, dragging in the surrounding environment.
They made their way down to get the woman to medical help as quickly as they could, while being careful not to stress her wounds. Finally, they arrive at the bottom of the mountain, and rush to the nearby town. They stop and ask a man in the center of town for a healer, and he directed them to a woman on the edge of town.
They head to her hut, and duck inside. She is an old woman, wrinkled to the point that she looks like a prune. She notices the heroes, and then the injured woman. She ushers them to a room, where they lay her down onto a table. The healer informs them that it will take some time, and so they return to the town inn to rest.
While relaxing in their room with some food, the heroes talk about their New Year's, one heroes new gaming PC, and the Amazon Prime TV show The Wheel of Time.

Episode 102 - Christmas, Video Game NFT’s, and Drunk Stories

Landing on the ground outside of the cave entrance, the heroes took a minute to catch their breath. The rumblings of the cavern collapsing beneath them continued, but they paid it no mind. They came back to their senses, and did a check to make sure everyone had escaped. Their allies took the opportunity to make a campfire using the remains of what the heroes had left behind before venturing into the cave.
The warrior hero laid the injured woman down, her bloodied rags soaked through. The other heroes assisted in cleaning her wounds and replacing her bandages. She would need treatment from a healer, but would likely make it. The warrior hero lay her up against a flat rock to rest, then returned to help with the campsite. The ground still shook, and the mountain seemed to roar as its hidden cavern collapsed in on itself.
As the warrior hero rejoined the group, the ground nearby erupted into a plume of dust. Dirt and rocks flew into the sky, raining down upon the party. A loud roar bellowed from the bursting ground, followed quickly by the emergence of the extremely bloodied and damaged beholder. Only one of its tentacles remained, but it had clawed its way to the surface in search of its prey. Its few undamaged eyes locked onto the members of the party, writhing its body to face them.
The warrior hero grabbed his mace and walked forward. The beholder swung its tentacle at him, but he batted it aside. He swung his mace again, and crushed the slimy appendage. Blood dripping from his weapon, he approached the body of the now immobile beholder. Lifting his  weapon high above his head, he slammed it down into the largest of the creature's eyes. It let out a loud scream of agony, and the hero struck again. He slammed his mace down again and again, bashing in the monster's bulbous body. Eventually, the beholder stopped screaming in pain, and lay dead at the hero's feet.
He turned and walked back to his companions, sitting down next to the campfire to rest. His friend's faces covered in appreciation of his handiwork, he knew he deserved his rest. The other heroes set fire to the creature, but not before scavenging it for its parts. An ancient monster's body parts would not only fetch a high price at market, but would net them a great reward from the closest kingdom.
They returned and relaxed near the campfire. They ate some food and talked for a bit, before their allies said their goodbyes and left. The heroes remained, and talked for a bit. They discussed Christmas, the nightmare of NFT's going into video games, and some drunk stories.

Episode 101 - Halo Infinite Campaign, 100th Episode Review, and Prepping for Christmas

Scrambling away from the horde of orcs while narrowly avoiding the wriggling tentacles of the beholder, the heroes made their way to their allies at the edge of the cavern. Their spear-wielding friend clearing out orcs from one side, they fought through the horde from the other. With arrows raining down on their enemies from their ally with a bow, they were making good progress.
Weaving through the bodies, they eventually reached their ally, and broke free from the surrounding horde. As they did, a tentacle reached down and snagged an orc from beside the warrior hero. Shifting to keep the unconscious woman safe, he jumped away as the beholder slammed the body of the orc down where he had just been standing. Blood and bone splattered up into the air, coating both him and the woman in a red mist. The beholder left the remains where they lay, and swung its tentacle at the warrior hero. He leapt away again, making his way through the opening in the horde.
Grabbing the warrior hero's arm to help pull him through, the swordsman hero turned back to the orcs. He swung his swords, slicing through orc after orc. His blades and armor coated in blood, he continued until the Jester approached. He cleaved another orc in two, providing a slim passage for his bizarre companion.
The Jester, continuing to raise the dead orcs that had been slain by his allies, retreated behind his bow wielding friend and prepared another spell. He mustered up his mana and cast his magic. The ground shuddered, and from it a wall of corpses rose up. The advancing orcs were stunned, unable to realize that they had been cut off from their prey. The wall continued around the central platform, eventually encircling it all. The orcs had been trapped, and with them remained the raised dead.
The orcs quickly realized this, as the fresh corpses of their allies began to tear them apart. The orcs understood they could not escape, so they began to line up with their backs against the wall. Unfortunately for them, the raised dead were not the only threat. The limbs of the wall began to writhe and come alive. Arms lashed out, grabbing and clawing at the orcs. in an effort to get free, the orcs jumped away from the wall. By doing so they fell right into the hands of the undead, and were quickly torn apart.
In what seemed like no time at all, the horde was consumed. Horrifically torn apart by the bodies of their own kin. The heroes would have felt relieved, if not for the ancient horror hovering near the cavern ceiling above. The beholder watched on, almost curiously at the terror that unfolded below it. Its eyes darted back and forth at the chaos that had occurred, seemingly no longer interested in attacking the orcs. It instead turned its attention to the heroes, who had regrouped near the edge of the cavern. The beholder quickly began its assault on them, hovering across the cavern ceiling at a surprising pace.
The heroes ducked into a tunnel, quickly making their way out of the main cavern. Behind them, the tunnel collapsed and then expanded as the beholder burrowed through with its powerful tentacles. Rock and dust fell all around them, and they knew they had little time to act. The Jester fired off fireball spells back at the horror that as chasing them, searing its slimy flesh. It was not deterred.
Eventually, the corridor opened up a bit, and the Jester turned around to wait. He conjured up another spell, this time causing dark black energy to gather around his hand. The beholder rounded the corner, and the Jester cast his spell. From his hand flew a small black orb. It hovered in the path of the beholder, and then suddenly compressed into itself. A gravity well formed in its place, sucking in the wriggling tentacles of the monster. The beast pulled back, but as it did, the swordsman hero used a spell of his own.
He teleported directly in front of the creature, slashing at its appendages. The limbs flew off, sucked up into the dark sphere of gravity. The beholder let loose a scream, its eyes all focusing on the swordsman hero. It swung one of its tentacles at him, but he dodged to the side. AS he did, a new wall of limbs sprung up in his place, pinning another of the  beholders tentacles to the ceiling. The hero quickly slashed off the pinned limb, and retreated.
Blood oozing from the beast, it swung its remaining two tentacles around wildly. The cavern, unable to withstand the destruction, began collapsing all around. The heroes felt that monster would likely bleed out from its injuries, and so they retreated. They made their way through the tunnels, with the ceiling crashing down behind them as they ran. As they felt the collapse would catch up to them, they saw a glimmer of light. They leapt forward, springing out of the entrance of the cave.
Escaping what seemed like certain death, their conversations flashed across their minds. They had talked about the new Halo Infinite Campaign, reviewed their 100th episode, and prepped for Christmas. 

Episode 100 With Guests Kloss and Marlon Hue - Leg Wrestling, NFTs & MrBeast

Surrounded on all sides, the heroes know they need to act quickly. Scooping the unconscious woman up onto his shoulder, the warrior hero prepared to make a break for it through the crowd of orcs. They watch him, waiting for him to make his move. Blood dripping from her wounds, the woman remained motionless in the grasp of the strong hero.
To their side, the swordsman hero slowly drew his two blades. Preparing to clear a path for his allies, he studied the crowd and created a path in his mind. He would have to work quickly to take out the orcs blocking their way, while making sure to keep the others safe. He readied himself, aware that the beholder above would attack the instant they moved.
The Jester, standing a bit off to the side, grinned as always. He flipped his mandolin upside down, as though he would swing it like an axe. The body of his instrument appeared to have been crafted from the body of a small beholder itself, reflecting the twisted nature of its owner. He held it in his left hand, and with his right began to cast a spell.
As one, the heroes made their moves. The swordsman hero lunged forward and swung his blade through the first orc he could reach, fire coursing through his magical blade. With his second swing, his electrically enchanted sword slashed through a line of orcs before they could react.
The Jester waved his hand, covered in a green shimmer. He cast his spell, raising the defeated orcs from their demise. Their eyes glowing green, the quickly stood and turned to their former comrades. Unsure of what was happening, the orcs did not attack. When they realized what had happened, it was too late. The turned creatures attacked the living, tearing them apart piece by piece.
The warrior hero, with the woman over his shoulder, charged in behind the swordsman hero. He carried his mace in one hand, swinging it at any enemies that dared approach. He would fight as hard as he could, but worried about whether he could protect the woman on his shoulder.
Overhead, the massive beholder watched on, eyes twitching from one individual to another. Its tentacles slithering across the ceiling, the orcs payed it nearly no mind as it watched them silently from above. The heroes however, were well aware of what was to come. As silently as it stuck to the ceiling, its tentacles darted down and grabbed at the orcs. Some were crushed instantly, others were snagged and lifted back up into the monster's waiting maw. It snapped its snake-like appendages around the battlefield, picking off the unsuspecting denizens below.
The heroes avoided the tentacles, while fighting their way through the crowd. Claws scraping at his arms and face, the swordsman hero motioned for the Jester to make his move. As he did, the Jester reacted immediately and threw a blue ball of energy to the opposite side of the cavern. It stuck to the wall, serving as simply a sphere of light to help locate the exit.
As the warrior hero fought on, an orc swung its claw at his face, cutting open his forehead. Blood oozed down into his  left eye, making it hard for him to see. He fought on, unaware that an orc had flanked around him and was preparing an attack. As it lunged, he never noticed as an arrow struck it in the neck, killing it instantly.
As he finished killing an orc in front of him, he turned and noticed the freshly killed corpse with an arrow in its neck. he looked into the direction it had seemed to come from, and saw two figures standing near their blue orb of light. Not only had the orb served as a means of finding their way out, but as a way for their allies to find them. That being said, the raucous and explosive combat would likely have helped them along the way.
Standing at the edge of the cavern was their old friend Kloss. he rushed in with his spear, preparing to clear out the path for the heroes from the outside. With him was Marlon Hue, who fired arrows from an elevated stone at the edge of the cavern. The arrows rained down upon the orcs, taking them out without them ever knowing what had happened.
With the arrival of their allies, the heroes felt that the tide of the battle was finally turning in their favor. Before they could celebrate, they continued fighting through the hoard to safety. As they did, they noticed the creeping tentacles of the beholder drawing ever closer. They would have to kill it before leaving, or it would bring the tunnels down onto them.
Thank you so much to Kloss and Marlon Hue for coming back on the show for such a great episode! Please go check out their stuff using the links below:
Kloss:
B is for Brutal on Anchor
Marlon Hue:
Watch his Podcast
Podcast Clips
Listen on Anchor
His Instagram

Episode 99 - Halo Infinite, Thanksgiving, and 100 Episodes

As the heroes made their way through the winding tunnels, they eventually emerged into a massive, open cavern. In the center was flat stony platform, with a circle of stone pillars creating a focal point in the area. A large rocky hand jutted forth from one side, standing as a monument to the beings from times long forgotten. Variously sized illuminated crystals dotted the ceiling, creating a dim artificial light.
Our heroes, realizing this was their destination, made their way to the platform. They clambered their way up onto it, and surveyed their surroundings. They were a few meters away from the giant stone hand, with a few larger stones jutting out nearby. The stone pillar circle was about 40 meters in diameter, and provided a perfect view of the cavern surrounding it. The rugged platform was uneven, and made the heroes aware that they should watch their step lest they twist an ankle. In the center was a small stone pedestal, standing about a meter high. On it lay a small woman, dressed in light armor. Two small daggers lay at her sides, with a small bow laying cracked on the ground nearby.
The heroes approached her, unsure if she was even alive. As they did, they noticed her bloody and bruised frame. She had lacerations all over her arms, and her face had been badly bruised. Her left leg appeared broken and unusable, meaning they would need to carry her out even if she regained consciousness. Her light leather armor was scratched and torn, rendered nearly useless. The only surviving piece of her equipment was her quiver, which seemed to simply be scratched up.
They looked her over, and realized she was still breathing. Quickly, they cleaned her wounds and banged her up. The warrior hero set her leg and added a splint, while the swordsman hero applied an ointment that would her her heal quicker. They gathered up her knives and bow, carefully placing them into their bags to avoid damaging them further. They then attempted to cautiously pick up the woman, careful not to strain her injuries. As they did, they heard a rumble.
Suddenly, a wall of the cavern burst open, sending rocks flying throughout the area. Out of the newly created hole came the Jester, followed by the sound of a screaming horde. The Jester scrambled up onto the platform with the heroes, eager to escape the thrall of enemies that had followed him. Out of the hole poured a horde of orcs, nearly trampling over one another trying to get to their prey.
Before they could escape with the woman, the orcs encircled the heroes. There were about 50 of them, but none were armed. They were disgusting creatures, their bodies covered in an almost insect-like armor. Standing about as tall a a human, they were thin, but muscular. Their sharp claws could cut through the lightest of armors, and would tear through flesh with ease. Their sinister faces were filled with sharp fangs, with their slim pale eyes seeming to gaze right through you. Two horns protruded from the tops of their heads, completing their horrific appearance.
The heroes knew this was a horrible situation to find  themselves in. Fighting off the enemies while protecting the woman would be nearly impossible. Unlike the woman, the villagers had at least been in a position to fight for themselves and provide assistance. The heroes would get none of that help here. When they were about to make their move, another noise drew the heroes attention. A booming roar came from the hole the Jester had created.
Long, dark tentacles crept out of the opening. They slithered their way across the walls, encompassing the whole of the surrounding area. When it seemed like they connected only to the darkness, a form finally emerged. A large, bulging body pulled itself out of the shadows and into the cavern. A disgusting ancient creature, known as a behemoth beholder had followed the sounds of the horde and made its way to them.
Its body covered in eyes, it seemed to watch everything in the area at once. Its tentacles grabbed onto the stalactites and propelled itself across the ceiling of the cavern. The sound of it moving towards them caused both the heroes and orcs to freeze in place. Its body likely measured 20 meters across, with the tentacles being at least as long. It passed over near the central platform, and then hovered above. Its eyes looking down on all below, the heroes had finally met a monster that could meet their skill level.
Their thoughts racing to come up with a strategy, the heroes stood still, careful not to become the catalyst that would set off the battle. While they stood, they thought of Halo Infinite, Thanksgiving, and their upcoming 100th episode.

Episode 98 - Fargo, Halo Infinite, and Thanksgiving

The heroes, having figured out their plan, clean up their campsite and head into the cave. The Jester lead the way, torch in hand. The darkness was nearly unbearable, making it seem as though the torch put off no light whatsoever. The crept carefully through the twisting tunnels, stepping quietly over stones and the remains of the adventurers that had come before them. As they progressed onward, the tunnels seemed to compress around them to the point they began to wonder how much further they could progress.
Eventually they arrived at an intersection, with three separate tunnels heading in each direction. The warrior hero asked if they should split up, but they decided it would be better to stick together. In spite of this, the Jester went off on his own to speed up their search. The went down their respective paths, and prepared to enter the deepest part of the cave.
As they proceeded through the ever-narrowing tunnel, the warrior hero and swordsman hero talked about the TV show Fargo, their experiences with halo Infinite, and Thanksgiving.